Dan Newberry was a well-respected CPA

Dan Newberry had a rather sizable 401K

But Dan Newberry left it all behind one day

And set off in search of Bigfoot

Said goodbye to a perfectly acceptable life

Left a note for his perfectly acceptable wife

Maxed out his cards at the outdoor store

And set off in search of Bigfoot

Looking for something beyond reason

Hunting the unlikely out of season

Deep within the forest of intractable facts

Lives something that leaves irrational tracks

Dan Newberry doesn’t believe there’s nothing left to see

Dan Newberry is a student of cryptozoology

There’s Dan Newberry halfway up a tree

Night-vision scoping for Bigfoot

Now he’s scanning the banks near the salmon run

Stalking the magical with a tranquilizer gun

Never too far from where the wild things are

When you’re in search of Bigfoot

Looking for something beyond reason

Hunting the unlikely out of season

Deep within the forest of intractable facts

Lives something that leaves irrational tracks

A twig snaps and Dan spins around

and pressed into the muddy ground

a perfect five-toed size eighteen

A shadow folds into the green

Better luck next time, Dan

Would you even acknowledge if it passed you by

the uncomfortable mysteries at the corner of your eye

Do you look for faith in proof or proof in faith

What are you in search of